I am creating this blog in the hopes that it helps adoptive parents, the way the countless adoption blogs I’ve read have helped me. Navigating the world of international adoption is a bit of a pain, to be honest, and I cannot imagine having gotten this far without Those Who Have Gone Before Me posting blogs about it.
I have noticed, however, a huge gaping hole in representation amongst adoption blogs. Most of these blogs are written about faith-based families. And, in my completely unscientific study of adoption blogs, most families seeking to adopt tend to be faith-based. (Spoiler Alert: I'm not what you would call a "faith-based person".) While the insights, advice and advocacy through these blogs has been incredibly helpful in my own journey, there is a large aspect of these peoples' lives to which I cannot relate. And, I’ll be honest, sometimes I just want to read a blog I can relate to a little bit more. And I couldn’t find one.
So I’m starting one.
You’re welcome, internet.
(Look, if Napster and Myspace are still around, hogging up precious cloud-space, then so can I.)
(Fine, I don’t know if Napster is actually still around. That’s why I said “if”. But Myspace totally is.)
Another reason I want to start this blog is because, really, adoption is hard. And my portion – the portion I will write about on this blog – is the easy part. The paperwork, the finances, the waiting, the research… that’s the easy stuff. That’s the stuff I can make sense of, create spreadsheets for and rationalize my way around. The hard stuff will be what my daughter endures: the rude, relentless questions, the stares, the assumptions, the loss, the grieving, the sexism, the racism, the bigotry. The hard part will be helping her to find her place in this world, when her first experiences of this world were heartbreaking. The hard part will be answering her when she asks the really hard questions. What happened to me? Why was I abandoned? Did my biological parents love me? Answering her, even if the only honest response I can give is I don’t know.
I want to write this blog for her, so she will know the path her parents took to get to her, and that, in the midst of it all, she has been – and will always be – wanted, loved and absolutely worth it.
(Also, please remind me, as we venture down this path, that I referred to the paperwork, the finances, the waiting and the research as “easy”. I may need the perspective in the coming months…)
